


How You Know

by Peril_in_Peace



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: 12 Days of Starmora, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Groot's Family, Post-Vol. 2, but i make no apologies, light - Freeform, more of the sappiest sap i have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 08:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12955089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peril_in_Peace/pseuds/Peril_in_Peace
Summary: Groot thought that feeling sad when someone else was sad was also maybe how you knew that you loved them.And he knew that he loved Gamora and Peter very much.12 Days of Starmora - Day 4 - Light





	How You Know

Groot was little, and went a lot a places on the new big Ravager ship that he probably wasn’t supposed to go. But he was _little_ and he could _fit_ , and if he could fit, then he could probably go there, couldn’t he?

After all, he could _fit_.

He liked to find new places to get into. One time, he found an orloni nest in a hidden room that he got to through an open vent. When he tried to open the door, it didn’t open. It was welded shut, and he had to go back out through the vent. But he grew out his arms and vines and fought--he meant _played_ \--with an orloni that was just a little smaller than he was.

The orloni was okay. Groot had growled and the orloni growled back and Groot thought that maybe the orloni might want to play again.

And another time, he found a secret back way into Peter’s room. He liked to hang out there. Even though Peter liked to be alone a lot lately. Rocket said so, and told Groot to stick by him for a while and help him build ‘splodey stuff when Peter went away after dinner.

But then later at night, Peter _always_ left the door open and patted the pillow next to him on the big bed, when Groot stumbled in quietly in the dark after a bad dream. And Groot yawned and stretched and Peter would turn on quiet music from his new little music player, that played songs but not _tapes,_ and rub his back until he fell asleep again.

Lately, Gamora might be in bed too. Sometimes she grumbled and rolled over, but still, Peter always patted the pillow and made room for him. And sometimes in the morning Groot woke up between them and felt especially _safe_ and _happy._

* * *

 Groot didn’t really know what a “dad” was.

But Groot remembered that Peter called Yondu one. And Groot liked that Yondu called him “Twig” and was nice to Rocket. And let Groot ride on his shoulder and hang onto his ear. And talked nice to him and explained things to him and let him help with things that were important. He knew that Yondu knew Peter when he was little like Groot, and thought that maybe Yondu had called Peter “Twig” and talked nice to him and let him help with things too. When he was little like Groot was.

Rocket had explained that Yondu had _saved_ Peter and that was why he wasn’t here anymore. And that was why Peter was sad and didn’t always want to play. That people _get sad_ when people they love aren’t here anymore.

He thought that he really liked how _Peter_ let him ride on _his_ shoulder and hang onto _his_ ear. And let Groot pick the songs to listen to, and held him when he got tired, and kept him company whenever he had a bad dream or felt sad or mad, and played with him, and would tell him to put his seatbelt on.

And he thought that if Peter was gone (like he almost was), he would be very sad. So, Groot must love him very much.

So, Groot thought, if Yondu was Peter’s dad, maybe Peter was Groot’s.

He thought this as he lounged on his stomach in the duct; peeking out the vent overlooking Peter’s room, with his chin in his hands and his feet kicked up in the air. He listened to the new music quietly playing from the speakers set up on one of the mismatched chests of drawers (that he knew had been Yondu’s--his underwear _had_ been in them, after all).

Groot could see the tops of Peter and Gamora’s fuzzy heads, where they sat on the bed.

“You need to _talk_ , Peter,” Gamora said quietly.

Groot _liked_ to listen to them talk. He was glad that Peter wasn’t always alone anymore. And even if Peter didn’t always play with _him_ , Groot knew that if Gamora was gone, he would be sad too. So that meant that Groot must love _her_ , too. And so he knew that he could trust her to take good care of his dad.

“I have,” he heard Peter mumble and shift on the bed.

“Not enough, apparently.”

The room stayed quiet for a few minutes, except for the sound of a cheerful melody changing to a slower one, a deeper voice singing.

“What do you want from me, Gamora?”

Groot didn’t like how tired Peter sounded, and frowned.

“I want you to get a good night’s sleep, Peter. I want… I want you to… eat a full meal… be--”

Gamora stopped talking, suddenly, and Groot scooted closer to the vent to see what was happening.

“Be _myself_ , right?”

Peter didn’t sound quite… _angry._ He sounded like… like when Groot had played with his Walkman and it fell and one of the buttons popped out. And Peter had _almost_ yelled at him--Groot could tell--like how Rocket yelled at him sometimes when he was frustrated or angry.

But Peter wasn’t angry or frustrated, he’d explained.

He’d been _scared_ . Because the Walkman was _important_ to him and his mom gave it to him and he didn’t want it to be _broken forever_.

(Groot didn’t _quite_ know what a “mom” was either, but he figured it was _sort of_ like a dad. He decided to try and remember to think about it later. Maybe he could get Rocket to help him ask Peter. He’d probably know, since he’d had one.)

Gamora didn’t answer him for a long time; then, “Yes,” she said softly. “Yes, Peter. I want you _back_. Is that so terrible?”

“I don’t even know what that means.” Peter’s voice was quiet and tight, like he was fighting with himself to get the words out.

Groot watched Gamora’s face go all wilty, and she curled her fingers around Peter’s shoulders, like short little vines, and pulled his head down into her lap.

“You know what’s really fucked up?” Peter took a deep, shuddering breath. “I _miss_ it.”

Gamora ran her hand gently over Peter’s hair, massaging his temple with her thumb, and Groot realized he was holding his breath.

“It _hurts_ . That it’s gone. I never even knew it was _there_ , and now it’s _gone_ and it fucking _hurts_.” Peter held his hands in front of him, where he laid sideways, and closed his eyes. Then he just let them fall, one to Gamora’s foot, gripping her bare heel and ankle. “It’s dumb.”

“No, it’s not.”

“It is. I don’t even _want_ it. I don’t want _anything_ from that asshole, but I also have this feeling like… this light… was _mine_ and I was meant to have it, and it just _felt_ …” Peter shook his head a little, on Gamora’s knee. “Probably bullshit anyway,” he sighed. “It all was.”

Groot remembered the light. When they crashed with Yondu, he saw from Rocket’s shoulder that there was light around Peter. It didn’t seem like a good thing, then. The brain-thing Rocket told him to blow up was full of light. It _must_ have been bad if they had to blow it up.

“But when I had it…” Peter whispered. “Connected for the first time and made that stupid ball, it was like… I knew exactly who I was for the first time in my whole life. I was...”

Peter’s face got tight and his mouth closed and his eyes closed and he scrunched them up.

“Home?” Gamora said. She stopped playing with his hair and he swallowed hard.

“I’m so sorry,” Peter said. His voice was ragged, and he wiped his hand over his face. Groot felt like he missed some important things in the conversation. He didn’t understand what Peter was sorry for.

Gamora’s face got darker and splotchy, like she started growing moss. She helped Peter sit up and they sat close, facing each other, and Groot leaned forward. They both looked so _sad_.

He wanted to hug them.

“ _You_ are the brightest light I have _ever seen_.”

Gamora’s voice was thick and soft and watery and she held her hand up to Peter’s cheek and wiped away at the wet patches trailing down into his scratchy beard. And Peter swallowed and made the same kind of gruff, chokey noises that Groot had heard from the other side of his door after the fireworks at Yondu’s funeral.

Groot thought that feeling sad when someone else was sad was also maybe how you knew that you loved them.

And he knew that he loved Gamora and Peter very much.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so no LITERAL lights or fireworks... but hopefully this still meets the criteria. This started out as one thing (which DID have literal lights--and was seriously more cheerful), but I finished it after a truly awful day, and I think maybe I subconsciously wanted everybody else to hurt too. 
> 
> Sorry. 
> 
> I feel better tho. Yay, cathartic writing! 
> 
> Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. :)


End file.
